Showing Up, Letting Go, and Seeking Out: Keeping the Creativity Flowing

May 15, 2013

Ando’s Creative Diary Entry Log
Earth Year 2013
Colorado, USA

January 1, 2013: I have started my creative recovery. I’m pumped! I am  journaling every day, devouring The Artists Way, treating myself to decadent artist’s dates, snapping museum worthy pictures and reveling in my new found artistic freedom.  I am a real artist, a real creative, and it feels fantastic!

January 24, 2013: I have come down with a nasty cold, and it is hanging on mercilessly. Trying to come back to the page but I have lost all momentum.  I have work to catch up on from the lost sick week, luckily my creative urges have subsided so I will be able to devote my energy to work.

March 1, 2013: Work is done! My journal is back open and it feels great to be working the pen like a maestro. I have some new song ideas I am really excited about, and am getting my guitar fixed up so they can come to life.

March 10, 2013: Child care has fallen through again, and my days have been filled with park playgrounds and putting together puzzles, not the music making I had in mind.

Today: I’m back and feeling the flow. My guitar is ready and I’m stoked to get some stuff down later.

Tomorrow: Who knows……………….

The Creativity Train Taking A Break in Nowheresville. By: Brent Moore

And so it goes, this back and forth, this seesaw of creative flow and drought. I keep wondering why I can’t just stay in the flow and reticently come to the realization that creativity doesn’t work that way. It is not linear, or sensible, or pragmatic. It is messy and out of  control, subject to whims and flights of fancy.

However, I think there are some things I can do to help my creative train keep on chugging, rather than stopping for a leg stretch at every podunk town between here and wherever it is that I’m headed (hopefully Creativityville or Inspirationland, or at least Kansas City).

Showing Up

Creative thinking – in terms of idea creativity – is not a mystical talent. It is a skill that can be practised and nurtured.
Edward de Bono

Showing up is more than half the battle. Writing anything no matter how horrible. Carving out the time to devote to the practice of creativity, because practice is how we get better at anything.

Taking the pressure off can be a huge help. I recently saw a tip to say to yourself something like “I’m just going to look at my supplies, take out my pens and tinker around”.  Inevitably something is created from this simple act. And if not, no big deal – you’ve still taken inventory of your supplies and maybe gotten an idea of a few things you need. For me, it is taking out my guitar and seeing what comes up. More often than not a song is born from this exploration.

And of course journaling…. every morning. A daily practice like this always yields positive results, I just need to figure out how to make it automatic, like breakfast or brushing my teeth.  I also think penciling in 3 hours a week of pure creative time (and turning off any potential distractions during that time) might be needed at this point, to make sure I get it done.

If you are well practiced, even through times of creative drought, when the ideas do come, you are ready to pounce. Practice is training so that those rare and beautifully brilliant ideas can be captured skillfully when they arise.

Letting Go

Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties.
Gail Sheehy

Letting go of expectations about how creativity should look and about how good something should be, especially in first draft form. Letting go of the inner judgements that stop the flow (this is shitty work, I’m not creative etc.). Letting go of fear about how others see me.

Basically cutting myself a little slack and seeing where the muse wants to take me, because it is surely a place I’d not see otherwise, and might not even know exists. Finding those hidden gems are what makes creativity so exciting to me.

So often expectations about how the work should look end up killing off great ideas and limiting what can happen.  I need to find some ways to free myself up, so that I can let myself go.

Seeking Out

You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.
Jack London

Inspiration is everywhere, but sometimes you need to go looking for it, or change your mindset in order to see it in front of you.

Filling the well is what Julia Cameron calls it, and for her this means going to a museum, a collectibles store, or a hike somewhere new.  Seeking out new experiences, places and people can be an easy way to seek out new ideas.

Inspiration can also be found by really listening to the song on the radio, or really tasting the food in front of you. This requires a more subtle “club” as Mr. London refers to it. Creativity can come from the mundane, it is found in turning off our thoughts and experiencing what  is happening. Slowing down and taking in the moment can put a new perspective on a situation.  Life is intrinsically creative, the sky is a canvas in motion.

Tapping into this constant creativity is not easy, but with intention we can seek out creativity at any moment.

The Cyclical Nature of Things

I’ve Got Tides in Low Places By: Neva Swensen

The earth is the ultimate creator, and we exist in a cyclical state.  In small time this looks like the moon phases or circadian rhythms, step back and you see the rise and fall of species, mountains being created and destroyed, life forming. Creativity is like that, it is ever changing, but there are high tides and low tides of creative flow.

Recognizing the flow has helped me to be a little less judgmental of my creative process so far. I can still work on things during the low tides (like showing up, letting go and seeking out) which will prepare me to ride the high tides when the time is right.

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In a Nutshell: 3 Tips to Jumpstart Creativity and a free enewsletter from Creativoly

May 9, 2013

I just signed up for a free 30 day newsletter with daily tips to enhance creativity at creativoly.com (like the name by the way). I found out about this while surfing for ideas on fostering creativity and found an interesting article at Arctic Startup that highlights this service and it’s creator Niklas Laninge.  Though geared more towards business professionals, these tips are applicable to anybody looking to get more creative.


In a nutshell, here are the 3 tips to start being more creative right away:

  1. Have lunch often with someone who is not a usual associate  – someone in a different profession or department (or a different kind of artist if that’s your thing). This gets you out of using buzzwords and other conversational shortcuts that you use with colleagues, and you get to learn about someone else and what they do, which might spark creative thinking as well.
  2. Shadow somebody you know who is creative. Study what makes them tick and what methods they use to access the zone.
  3. Escape groupthink by spending some time brainstorming alone. In a group setting brainstorms can be more censured because people are afraid to sound stupid. When you are alone, you already know you are stupid so there’s no embarrasement in wild thinking, which may lead to some wildly good ideas!

I thought this simple article offered some easy suggestions and was happy to find another resource in creativoly. Read the entire article below.

http://www.arcticstartup.com/2013/05/08/three-tips-to-foster-creativity-at-your-startup

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Lyrics! Enough is Enough

May 7, 2013

Since the real purpose of this adventure is to spur my own creativity, not just write about what I should be doing or spouting tidbits of pseudo creative wisdom, I thought I would share some lyrics I just wrote! I tucked away a little time today for the first draft.  We have a gig coming up in 3 weeks which is serving as a great creative deadline to get some lyrics finished.

I’ve had the title to this song for a while, but wasn’t sure exactly where it was going from there. It kind of surprised me – I like the circular effect that came up, and I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so dark. Originally I was thinking it would be more of an empowering type of song but the muse had other ideas today.

I am also curious about who the “you” is in the song,  I think it is a part of myself that I can’t quite shake, no matter where I go. That nagging self critic, that judgemental son of a bitch.

I started by using some techniques from the songwriting class I recently took with Pat Pattison through Coursera, but quickly veered to straight writing as the words began flowing. I did consult an online rhyming dictionary though you might not know it from the simplistic rhyming words. I think disappear might have come from it, as well as rhyming stuff with enough.

My favorite part of this song is the verse rhyming scheme – the chords change for the 5th line but the rhyme is consistent with the 3rd and 4th lines. It creates a strange continuity between the chord changes. I’ll post a version if I can get one recorded.

Enough is Enough

Enough is Enough

I keep walking down the same street
Keep dreaming down the same dreams
All the little things are adding up
Open heart but all the doors are shut
Try to hold onto a little luck
It keeps slipping through my dirty hands
Wash em clean but they turn black again
Didn’t think that you would understand

Why do you keep on harassing me
Who is it that you want me to be
Change the station try to tune you out
Conversations only scream and shout
If i did now I don’t have a doubt
Gonna pack it up and get away
Gonna find a place where I can stay
Gotta get a ticket – One Way

Oh baby I’ll be heading out of here
This time I think I’ll finally disappear
I’m leaving all my baggage all my stuff
Enough is Enough

So Im setup in a new place
With a good girl and a straight face
I tread lightly still the dreams begin
All the people that I might of been
Feel my fingers turning black again
Start to wonder if I’m still OK
Feel the bellyache to run away
Gotta get a ticket – One Way
Oh baby I’ll be heading out of here
This time I think I’ll finally disappear
I’m leaving all my baggage all my stuff
Enough is Enough

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Getting The GOOOD Shit Done: 5 Things Creative Folk Can Learn From Productive Folk

May 1, 2013

In my search for online material relating to the creative process I keep tripping over blog posts with advice about being more productive and getting more shit done. Systematize this, Automate that, Outsource the rest (preferably to a foreigner who charges less than $2/hr).

There are contests for who can get the most shit done in the shortest amount of time. The winner gets an ebook about how to quadruple shit output in a quarter of the time. Forget about quality or originality or craftsmanship, it’s all about producing quick and massive piles of shit.

This Baby Baboon is more creative than you By: Hen Riko

These types of articles often share real estate with tips on “5 Easy Ways to Enhance your Creativity –  so easy that a Blindfolded Baby Baboon Could Do Them” or “Unleashing the Creative Tsunami Within”.  You know, the quality stuff.

How can they inform one another, to help us not just get shit done, but to get the GOOOD shit done?

Guilt, Shame & Murder

If you’re not accomplishing several things simultaneously right now then you are probably feeling a little guilt, with a sprinkling of shame mixed in, and surely some murderous thoughts towards me for wasting your valuable time (or perhaps for my Jack Blackian physique). I know I’ve harbored those same thoughts while wasting my precious coffee buzz reading productivity blog posts.

Our culture has programmed us to be busy, to be working on or producing something…anything…all of the time. If you are producing something you are creating something right? Who cares if it is someone else’s idea, or a strategy you have tweaked or modified ever so slightly, you are creating something where there was nothing before. You are a busy, productive creative genius, right?

If Only Productivity really meant Mai Tais on the Beach By: Sarah_Ackerman

That’s what those productivity gurus might have you believe. They would probably argue that you don’t even need to be busy, that you can actually increase productivity while enjoying the company of beautiful women and  Mai Tais on the beach. Unfortunately, the reality is that extra time usually means more time to think about how to be more productive, and a vicious time sucking cycle ensues.

When you are producing, you are concerned with how to produce more more more. How to become more efficient. How to make more money. How to pump out more product. It is a loop, and the more consistent and quantifiable things are the better.

Creativity abhors this kind of consistency,monotony and consumption. Creativity is about freedom to wander, to linger, to explore. There is no timetable, and often no particular goal. Unfortunately, this results in absolutely nothing being produced.

A creative artist who never produces any creative work is not much of an artist at all. Artists must produce work in order to share and inspire others, and producers must find new ideas (ie be creative) or risk over-saturation and irrelevance as tastes and needs change quickly.

What Creative Folk Can Learn From Productive Folk

Although we’d all benefit from more creativity everywhere, I’m not as interested in how producers can create more commercial crap. I’m more interested in how artists (like me as I am now sometimes referring to myself) can become more productive while still maintaining integrity and connection.

Although their priorities are often messed up, co-opting a couple of tools from the productivity people might actually be useful.

The GOOOD Shit

  • Ground Prep: With any creative work are some phases which are not as creative but can help to prep the ground for the real work/play/flow. For example perusing the thesaurus for a bunch of words that may be used, or creating a kind of mind map with different ideas I can hand over to the muse when she’s ready to write a song. Re-sizing images and adding links on blog posts, researching locations for a book or deciding on color schemes can all fall into this prep work. When the creativity is not flowing, I can still spend some productive time with other tasks that will help when the flow is at full force.
  • Outlines: Sometimes that blank piece of paper can become a giant white whale staring me down with beady eyes and a confidence sucking mouth. Throwing down a general outline can get some ideas on the page. These may change drastically as the piece evolves, but it can be useful to break the seal. I’ve started using some outlining techniques in songwriting that are helping. These include creating quick boxes that follow the potential progression of the song and lists of rhyming words that may end up populating it.
  • Outcomes: Splitting up a project into manageable outcomes can help with the overwhelm, and also create some natural breaks and times for daydreaming in between tasks. Completing tangible goals within a larger project can help motivate me – I’ve accomplished s0mething and I’ve got another segment I can tackle next.
  • Odds & Ends:  Along the same lines as outcomes, it can be useful to divide different outcomes into different piles. So I’ve got a research pile, a boring task pile, a creative pile etc (for me these piles are virtual, just different lists on a page). Depending on energy, mood and time I can go to a pile and accomplish something, which keeps momentum and self esteem high.
  • Deadlines: If it has to be done by a certain time then it’s done, even if it is not perfect. Often deadlines that are self imposed can be a little shaky for me, so scheduling a gig or an art show is certainly a way to make sure it happens. Even committing to an open mic night or a weekly poetry group where I need to bring something new every week can light that fire. I’m finding this is happening with this blog post (it is not getting itself done dammit), so I just imposed a 30 min deadline. It will not be perfect, but it will be.

Maybe those productivity gurus are onto something after all with their 4 hour work weeks and Mai Tais on the beach. Now if we can only turn them on to some creativity tools to help them start producing more GOOOD shit, instead of just more shit, we’ll all be better off.

 

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Searching for inspiration and finding procrastination

April 27, 2013

I came to my senses about an hour after my initial search began. I had made my way to a fascinating article about celebrity fashion and siblings of celebrities who are actually better looking than their more famous counterparts.  In the bastardized words of David Byrne, “How did I get here? This is not my internet search, This is not my internet time.”

Looking for Inspiration in All the Wrong Places

It started innocuously enough, and with good intention. I was hungry for a little creative inspiration.

I typed ‘creativity’ into an empty search bar and clicked on a huffington post article about prioritizing creativity.  It was a somewhat dry article about how we need to change our educational system to encourage more creativity in order meet the demands of our new information based economy in the internet age.  Yawn. Not quite what I was looking for in the inspiration department.

Then, whispering “click me click me” on the sidebar under most popular articles, The truth about the 6 inch alien.  Now this could really get my creative juices flowing.

Dissapointingly I find a hyped up story about some skeletal remains that are probably human, but shimmering like a hidden jewel is a link a youtube video for a new movie called Sirius, about the confirmed scientific existence of UFOs. I have to see this, it could change everything.

I start watching and up pops a link to the new trailer for Iron Man 3. I know there’s some creative stuff in that movie. Click.

Beyonce looking waxier than ever…By: Cliff

I’ve officially entered the YouTube vortex at this point, and there’s no coming back. An interview with Robert Downey Jr, then one about how he and James Franco competed for the starring role in some movie, then a link to something about Franco’s brother and here I am. 12 pictures of celebrities with their siblings who may or may not be cuter. Wow, I didn’t know Beyonce had a sister, Beyonce is so much hotter than Solange…..wait, what the hell am I doing?

I went out looking for inspiration and found procrastination.

LOL Cat Scratch Fever

The internet seems to be designed for this. The next mind blowing article is only a click away. Ads bombard the senses. Funny videos about lol cats scratch and claw for what’s left of my subdivided attention.

What an epic and entertaining waste of precious time.

There is inspiration out there online, but it can be difficult and time consuming to sift through the cyber junk in order to find it. After this latest daliance here are a few things I am going to try.

1) Stick to Stories from Google Alerts: I’ve got a filter setup that sends me links to stories about creativity everyday. How about just sticking to those, and not clicking on the tempting eye candy that takes me away from the task at hand.

2) Set A Time Limit:  30 minutes max for searching, if I haven’t been inspired yet or have a definitive direction then it will have to wait for another day. And set a timer so when it’s done it’s done.

3) Disable ads and popups: In firefox I’ve installed an extension called adblock plus – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNvb2SjVjjI. This prevents some inadvertant clicks and gets rid of that clutter that feeds the distraction monster.

4) Bookmark for later with instapaper: If I do find something I’d like to read later, I can just bookmark and skip for now, so that I can keep looking for what I set out to find.

4) Separate Surf Time from Inspiration & Research Time: Surfing can be fun and lead to some interesting finds, but it’s a crapshoot. Setting up some free surfing time for search and discovery can help delegate it to smaller chunks that don’t take away from the task at hand.

5) Go offline! Imagine that? How about finding some inspiration on a walk, or at an antique store, or a record shop, or taking the bus somewhere random and finding out what actually happens in real life.

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Flicking The Switch: Finding Inspiration in the Everyday

April 23, 2013

I’m sitting in a cavernous pizza joint at the edge of suburbia, taking in the sights and sounds. It’s 2:00 on a Friday afternoon and I’ve had the luxury of being off a schedule today. There are a couple of stragglers here, people who started the weekend at noon, as I did shortly after.

The sound system is quite robust, though not overpowering, and the music is some sort of Janis Joplin retrospective. It is running through her older catalog with cover songs interspersed – a sprinkle of Black Keys here and some other blues bands paying homage to the amazing Janis.

What made my ears perk up was a bit of stage banter during a live recording. It was something about the power of music and doing it with your whole heart. It was gone before I could capture it, but found this quote that captured the same spirit:

“If you can get them once, man, get them standing up when they should be sitting down, sweaty when they should be decorous, smile when they should be applauding politely-and I think you sort of switch on their brain, man, so that makes them say: ‘Wait a minute, maybe I can do anything.’ Whoooooo! It’s life. That’s what rock and roll is for, turn that switch on, and man, it can all be.” – Janis Joplin

For me, the switch was turned by tuning into the music, and especially the inspiring words that then made me want to listing. I wasn’t expecting to be turned on here, or looking for it, having lunch in an uninspired location.  But here it was, and it got me to thinking that creative cues, or switches,  are all over the place.

So often I feel like I need to seek out inspiration somehow, go to an art museum or see some amazing musicians play amazing music. But really life happens in between these events, and creativity can spring out at any moment.

I am reminded of the movie American Beauty, where Ricky finds the mundane beauty of a plastic bag dancing in the wind.

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I think the trick is just in opening up to the moment, and seeing that beauty is everywhere. Inspiration can be found on a walk, or a spring snow, even litter on the side of the street. It is not so much about seeking it out as it is about opening up to it.

The switches are always there, but first you have to recognize them, and then turn them on (or let them be turned on), to find the inherent creativity that lies in each moment.

This week I am going to practice opening up to the switches that are everywhere, and seeing if I can flick a couple on.

 

 

 

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Day17-??

January 18, 2013

I’m sick and am taking some time to recover. Will fill the well with a couple of movies and some light reading. Xavier brought it home and now I’ve gotta get over it. Oh well, it’s been going around. Back to bed now.

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Day 13: A Day of Rest

January 14, 2013

Oh Holy Sabbath. I wrote a song today and it felt good. Started with a piano riff and moved it’s way to guitar for a pretty standard but high flying chorus Still needs some work. I’ll put it up sometime.

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Day 12: Chocolate Vegan Pancakes

January 13, 2013

I’m finding the weekends to be more difficult, less routines plus on Saturdays I’m often with Xa.Creativity crept in in the form of a new recipe. I wanted to make some vegan pancakes but realized we were out of almond milk after I had promised them. So I rooted through the pantry and fridge and found some chocolate coconut yogurt. I was able to throw some cakes together that were quite tasty. Here is my first recipe on the blog. It had to happen sometime.

Vegan Pancakes with Chocolate Yoghurt

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup coconut yoghurt (I used chocolate, I’m sure vanilla would be fine, as would an almond milk or soy yoghurt)
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1 ripened banana
  • 2 Tbsp. ground flax
  • 1 tsp. Grapeseed Oil (canola or olive is fine too)
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat or white flour
  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. Cinnamon
  •  Maple Syrup & Vegan Butter

How to:

1. Grease skillet. Mix together dry ingredients together, then add yoghurt, water and mashed banana to the dry ingredients, stirring until things are blended well but not over stirred.

2) Cook for a few minutes on a hot skillet and slather with some vegan butter, pure maple syrup and other accoutrements like fresh fruit, nuts etc

These would have been great with some pecans or carob chips as well. They turned out a little moist on the inside and pretty tasty!

I am usually a by the book cook if it comes to something that involves baking or complexities of any kind other than stirring in vegetables with pasta. So I was pleased to have invented my first recipe. A lot of the recipe was taken from other contexts, but I think it has enough of my own flair to call it mine.vegan_pancakes_bananas

vegan_chocolate_pancakesI even took a couple pictures, which seem to do it no justice at all. They almost look like sloppy nasty hamburgers in the pan. I showed them to my sister and she mentioned that taking pics of food from above is not that great, that it is better to take a side angles. So I’ll try that for my next creation. A quick search turned up these 5 food photography tips as well.

 

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Day 11: Compatible Cataclysm

January 12, 2013

Not much to report today, I reclaimed the morning pages but did not incorporate much creativity into the day. I am feeling anxious about the Broncos game for whatever reason, and a cold front that is sinking in like an iceberg. For some reason this weekend seems off-kilter to me, so wondering if my intuition will bear itself out (manifested in a Broncos loss I guess, or some other compatible cataclysm).

The business continues to flounder, it’s interesting how much momentum is there. One client jumps ship and the rest smell it or something. I mean why now? I guess the ones that did profit from our work are now sensing the downward spiral, and those that didn’t are oblivious to the changes. Or maybe they were waiting until the new year as I was, or any other number of writings on the wall.

Either way, there is a shift in the air, and it is happening rapidly. Becky is freaking out, I am rolling with the punches, but my expectations (and repercussions of failure) are considerably less. “It is what it is”, to quote some famous illiterate athlete douchebag, so make of it what you will. But “the times they are a changin” to quote some brilliant soothsaying songwriter, so you either have to go or resist. Either way it is happening.

With a successful babysitters rehearsal I do feel more creatively entrenched. But this day to day business, it’s probably like the stock market. Ups and downs, Gains and Crashes. I’m in it now and I’m sure some days there will be sure growth and others monumental failure. That’s the deal.

 

 

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Day 10: Fiddlesticks

January 11, 2013

I don’t know what to say about the babysitters.

This is my good friends Maureen and Greg’s band and they’ve asked me to play with them at an upcoming show (singing harmonies and doing some percussion). Today was the first rehearsal for me, and I was a bit nervous. It’s always weird going into a new situation like that and trying to make things better. They are looking to mix things up and asked me if I would sit in. It was tough at first – felt like I was in the spotlight and not wanting to step on any toes. I felt timid and awkward.

The anxiety dissipated after a a bit and I surrounded myself with a bass drum and a couple of congas, fiddle sticks, tambo and a bunch of percussion that helped me feel enclosed.

I need to figure out parts for each of the songs I think, what instruments I will play and tighten down the hatches quite a bit. But I should be able to do that by then (Feb 18). Just need to spend some time on it, maybe practice on a drum or borrow theirs for a bit.

I’ve actually always wanted to play drums since I was a kid, so this is a fun opportunity to unleash my inner animal. I wonder if I could find a shitty base drum on craigslist to practice on, I’m sure I could. It was cool for them to ask me to do the show, and will be a great chance to get back on a stage of sorts and do a little rocking.

This is their future hit:

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Day 9: A Closet Painter?

January 10, 2013

Well my first slip up this morning, I had conveniently forgotten a car appointment and by the time I had my senses about me I had to rush out the door, a cracker for breakfast and 3 blank pages in my journal. What ensued was a progressively stressful day full of  a car appointment, another lost client, a multi-hour conversation with my business partner trying to disentangle myself from the business, lots of driving, and general technical head banging, hand wringing and unproductivity.

An angry dad painting a closet – from http://www.angryjuliemonday.com

Blah.I don’t feel very good right now and I’m wondering if there is a causation or merely a correlation happening here. Anyway, it is interesting to note. I am going to do a quick task from chapter 2 of Walking in This World to try and soothe my troubled soul.

Identify Your Identity:

Answer the following questions as rapidly as you can (answers in italics)

1) When I was a small child, I dreamed of growing up to be rich (or an fbi agent possibly, can’t really remember so just going off what people have told me I said to them.)

2) In my childhood, my interest in what art was encouraged? Music

3) In my childhood, my interest in what art was discouraged? Visual Arts – Drawing, painting etc

4) If I had had more encouragement, I would have probably tried painting

5) The teacher who helped me see my gifts was Duane Wolfe & AP English Teachers who I can’t remember the name at the moment because I was too stoned.

6) The childhood friends who helped my see my gifts were Shawn & Erin

7) If I had another life, the art form I would start exploring early is painting

8) The reason it is too late for me in this lifetime is the length of time and patience towards mastery seems completely unattainable, plus I’m not very gifted imho so it would be lots of hard work that I’m not ready or patient enough to undertake.

9) One action I can take in the direction of my childhood love is to buy a couple of canvasses and see what happens

10) I now commit to this dream by painting something during the 3 month journey of this course

I don’t know if this is really a love, a childhood love to paint. But it is something worth exploring. I think it might inform me of some things I need. In college my favorite course was actually an intro to painting course – one where I felt like I made real progress and learned how to bring something out from the inside, and leave some inhibitions behind. So, maybe it wasn’t so far off base.

Not sure this will lead me to my childhood dream of being rich, however, but is this really a worthy dream at this point? It seems to have gotten me into a lot of unfulfiling situations thus far. When it is the point, it hasn’t worked.

So maybe I need to reconsider the point, and shift towards doing what I love, and trust that some money will be the byproduct rather than the goal. Not planning on painting bringing home the tempeh just yet, but it might be fun!

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Day 8: Elephant

January 9, 2013

The Elephant – coming into our creative beings as a larger self. A more complex being with a trunk and a tail and a big body. Chapter 2 seems to suit me now, this coming out process as a creative which is frought with self doubt and days of feeling strong and days of feeling week and unworthy. I can relate to Julia’s stuggle of finding music at 45 – a new creative calling that rocked her identity as a writer.

I am just coming back home to my creativity. Songwriting seems like the natural fit, something that still has a lot of juice for me but might not be the thing. Maybe it is photography, I’ve really enjoyed taking pictures lately. Or maybe writing, I’ve always heard this faint voice from a long echo chamber saying “you should write”.  I don’t know, but it’s interesting to note the artist’s life is never quite settled. It is not linear, and involves a whole lot of faith. That is the place I still need to step into and embrace.

This week I did morning pages every day, which already seems to be helping tremendously. I did an artists date, which was fun. I did not do the walk, so will try to do that this week. The synchronicities are already happening, and a big opportunity will present itself this week (according to my fortune cookie anyway, which seems as good a compass as any in these turbulent times).

The elephant in the room is my creativity, and how this impacts my current financial, work, time, life situation. I am just waking up to him, he’s been there all along, slumped in the corner, whinnying for some peanuts or a belly scratch.

Elephant, nice to see you.again.

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