Day 16: I’m Angry List

January 17, 2013

Anger as fuel. List 50 angering grievances from the historical to the hysterical, the heavy to the petty. (from chapter 3 of Walking in this World):

I’m Angry……..

  1. about the meat industry
  2. we are destroying our planet
  3. about Sandy Hook
  4. I can’t lose more weight easily
  5. I don’t have enough time to do what I want to in a day
  6. Aby (my 12 year old dog) whines all the time about nothing
  7. Aby is getting old and senile and annoying
  8. the NRA is full of a bunch of bastards
  9. I grind my teeth
  10. I’m losing my hair
  11. my business is about to go belly up
  12. I can’t control how Google works and they can just change things and fuck a bunch of people on a whim
  13. Xavier screams every time I try to play piano or guitar
  14. I don’t play guitar or piano enough
  15. I haven’t gotten better at playing music in a while
  16. that crappy songs make so much money
  17. that I have lyric writing block
  18. that the music of the youth (dubstep) is so jarring and I don’t understand it
  19. about consumer culture
  20. about the status quo
  21. I’m out of touch with most of the real problems in the world
  22. that tv sucks
  23. the Broncos lost that game when they had home field advantage throughout the playoffs
  24. when I waste my day because I drank too much the night before
  25. when I drink too much and say stupid shit I regret
  26. I never went to my grandparents funeral
  27. I don’t have a close relationship with my sister in Kentucky
  28. that I worry about money
  29. when the marble maze keeps falling apart
  30. when Xavier won’t take a nap
  31. that Jacey’s work takes precedence
  32. I’m not more easily inspired, or don’t let inspiration in as often as I should
  33. I don’t have a community in my neighborhood
  34. my band is non-committed and unmotivated
  35. more restaurants don’t have good vegan food
  36. when I waste food – throw food away
  37. I don’t have a job I really love
  38. I haven’t read a book in a while
  39. I don’t put more effort into nurturing good friendships
  40. breaking bad is almost over, and I don’t have a show I really like
  41. when I waste time watching shows
  42. I don’t take time in the day to do creativity
  43. I didn’t have more patience and fortitude and guts for Nashville or Country Music
  44. I don’t take more creative risks
  45. I don’t exercise
  46. I’m getting old
  47. greed is a part of the human condition
  48. winter lasts so long
  49. I don’t know how to fix anything mechanical or otherwise
  50. I haven’t achieved more, figured out much or made a mark on the world

This is my list for the evening. A lot of it is more like dissapointments rather than anger – I’m feeling more melancholy than firey at the moment. One point of this exercise is to notice the “what can I do about it” that pops up with some of these things. A victim mentality is never pleasant, so there must be some positive solutions in there. Some obvious right away ones are:

  • Read a book – maybe start with a book of shorter stories. I want to read Tenth of December by George Saunders.
  • Write some lyrics, even if they suck
  • Play some music, even if it sucks
  • Spend some quality time with Aby like the old days throwing ball in the park
  • Call my sister
  • Reach out to a few friends

Sounds like a good list to start.

Categories: Daily Update.

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